Things The Babysitters Have Said About Other People

Your at-a-glance guide to the Cambridge band scene, judged on the criteria that really matter...

Having been around for much too long, The Babysitters have seen far too many of Cambridge's local bands, and are thus able to provide the following exclusive, prejudiced, and not particularly helpful guide to the area's band scene. Obviously, we haven't included ourselves in this list. We wish to remain aloof and serious. New bands will be added as and when we get off our arses.

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Band Rubbish Name? Own At Least One Radiohead Album? Any Evidence Of A Sense Of Humour? Still At School? Live Shows Likely To Feature Shouts Of 'Yeah!' And General Rock Posturing? Competent Drummer? Bass Player Uses A Plectrum? Inflated Idea Of Own Worth? Cover versions performed
Hofman No Possibly Yes No No Yes Yes No None that I recognised
Buried Trevor How much worse could it be? Definitely Not really Probably Couldn't rule it out Not too bad Can't remember A bit None?
Nyugati Palyaudvar Er... Hard to tell Yes No No Very good indeed Yes No Theme from 'Midnight Cowboy' on electric mandolin - cool!
Freeboy (RIP) No Not obviously Yes No No Mostly Yes Some might say so, I couldn't possibly comment Allegedly
Simplicity Yes Yes No Youngish Yes A bit flaky Can't remember Definitely None
The Afterthought No Probably not Yes No No Electronic drums Electronic bass No None
Hinton Unimaginative Probably Not much You might think so, but only from a distance Couldn't rule it out completely Not bad Can't remember Yes Not as far as I know
Keith's Shed Odd, but strangely appropriate No Yes Not unless they teach there No At last Obviously Rather the opposite Too many to mention, and all excellent
Black Not Green You're right, black isn't green. I've never noticed that before No, but a full set of Prodigy albums Good question Not a normal school, anyway Too busy running about Competent sampler N/A Not obviously None
Band Rubbish Name? Own At Least One Radiohead Album? Any Evidence Of A Sense Of Humour? Still At School? Live Shows Likely To Feature Shouts Of 'Yeah!' And General Rock Posturing? Competent Drummer? Bass Player Uses A Plectrum? Inflated Idea Of Own Worth? Cover versions performed
Gravity Cafe Oh yes Doubt it No No Unlikely Seemed OK Can't remember Dunno, really Can't remember
Ouija Not by comparison with others, I suppose Absolutely No No Yes About average Yes Quote from their flyer: "The best unsigned band in Britain" Radiohead's 'Fake Plastic Trees' (surprise!)
Maker Maker of what? Among others Not really No It's a frightening thought Pretty good No Unknown Don't know
Effortless They certainly didn't put much effort into choosing one Yes Some Oh yes I wish they wouldn't Not great Think so Hard to tell Don't think so
The Straw Bees I don't understand it, but it's OK I suppose No Some No You're pretty safe Yes Can't remember No None when I saw them
Sub-collective Pretty good, given the type of music No None at all Difficult to tell Zero stage presence Superfluous. All the complicated stuff was played by the sequencer No No None
The Other Garden Moderately crap Naaah, too modern Limited Er, not exactly Only the guitarist who looked like Bob Geldof Seemed to be OK Yes To a degree They all sounded like covers, but weren't
Pogul Magee Oh, yes. Yes. And the Smiths back catalogue. Yes No, but acted like it Yes, as well as random incoherent shouting Not particularly No Yes. Very inflated. Difficult to tell
My Friend Irma Depends whether you are called Irma or not, I guess. No Some Probably just left Weird dancing and wailing from the woman OK, but the sound made it difficult to tell Yes To some extent. Their fans certainly aren't realistic. None when I saw them, but I bet they do.
Lumina Is that Latin for something? Not obvious No No No No drummer as yet No bass player as yet Too modest, if anything None
CRS* I thought it stood for Co-op Retail Services, which isn't very rock & roll. But apparently not. Yes No Must be No, but bassist has a serious Nicky Wire complex As competent as the rest of them Yes, but then so does Nicky Wire Maybe None
Band Rubbish Name? Own At Least One Radiohead Album? Any Evidence Of A Sense Of Humour? Still At School? Live Shows Likely To Feature Shouts Of 'Yeah!' And General Rock Posturing? Competent Drummer? Bass Player Uses A Plectrum? Inflated Idea Of Own Worth? Cover versions performed

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